15+ Lies About Motherhood Debunked By Moms Who Learned the Hard Way

Motherhood is one of the most sacred topics in the world. We are used to seeing in movies and hearing from people around us that motherhood is beautiful, pleasant, and simple. However, young mothers are often faced with a harsh reality that no one warned them about in advance. As wonderful as the role of a mother may seem, there are some things you should know about before you decide to have a baby.

• “2 kids are harder than one. Don’t have another just to entertain the oldest. I know a few people that did that. Also, I don’t think anyone emphasizes how much you will lose yourself and truly get exhausted by it.” ©-Nikki-j / Reddit
• “Motherhood is not your identity. Don’t forget who you are before you had a baby. That person still deserves her dreams, ambitions, and experiences.” © BarbarianFoxQueen / Reddit
• “To build on this, how truly awful pregnancy and birth can be. Getting pregnant was the worst thing I have ever done to my body, and I was a party kid (a long time ago) who played contact sports. Pregnancy messed me up so much worse than either of those things. Then I was in labor for 3.5 days, which was also a complete mess for my body. Also, those post-birth hormones are insane. My hormones didn’t kick in one day, and in those moments, I completely understood how mama’s who don’t get them struggle with incredible postpartum depression.” © MeinScheduinFroiline / Reddit
• “That every woman has a maternal instinct and will eventually develop baby fever. Or if you enjoy spending time with children, then it means you should become a mother.” © nosiriamadreamer / Reddit

• “I have never felt more alone in my life since becoming a mom. Can anyone relate? I’ll break it down. I adore my son and love being a mom. I guess I didn’t realize it meant the rest of my entire being would be erased as a result.”
• No friends. Best friend of 20+ years dumped me and went no contact when I was 3 months post-partum and struggling. The one other friend I have is happily child-free, married a bad guy, and doesn’t understand (but is convinced she does) what having children actually means day in and day out. We no longer speak. I have no one to talk to besides my husband.
• I have a small family that isn’t involved in my child’s life. No help for date nights or breaks from either side of the family. I go for months and don’t see them. They seem interested only so far as texting.
• I work from home. I have never met my coworkers face-to-face. We are spread out across the country. Not much chatting from day to day as our jobs don’t require it.
• My toddler won’t play by himself for more than 5 to 10 minutes without a total meltdown. Cannot be left alone. Always requires undivided attention.
• I am pregnant with our second. No one seems to care much from my side of the family. My husband’s family seems very excited.
• Toddler’s school day is only until 3 PM. My work is busy, so I’m usually swamped during the day trying to keep up with working as much as possible from 9-3 with few breaks for dishes, a shower, food, and maybe to pay some bills
• Zero time or energy to pursue any interests. No time for books, or video games, or shows. It is just sleep, eat, work and daycare, and entertaining the toddler. Who I was as a person is gone.
• Barely leave the house. I don’t have time to go out and even run an errand during the day because my work is busy, and I’m trying to compress 8 hours and house chores and a shower into 9 AM — 3 PM.
• No babysitter for date nights or breaks. Husband and I have zero time together."
  © NewWaterBaby19 / Reddit

• “A lot of women think they have a great partner until the baby shows up and the guy refuses to do his share.” © GuineaPigBikini / Reddit
• “That you have to sacrifice every single bit of your body, time, and soul for your children. If breastfeeding is sucking the life out of you, literally and figuratively, and you hate it, and it upsets you, then stop! Formula has kept babies alive for decades. If you’re at your wit’s end and are about to have a breakdown, it’s okay to lay baby down in the crib safely and walk away for a moment to catch your breath. Believe it or not, you don’t actually have to do those staged monthly photos with a sign that shows how old your infant is, which you then post on FB. Literally, do what works best for you. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. A mentally well and happy mom is best for a healthy, happy baby.” © Unknown author / Reddit
• “That it gets easier or ever truly ends. It doesn’t, and it won’t. I have 3 kids, 20, 21, and 24. The teenage years are HARD and expensive if they play sports, especially travel. Don’t underestimate that commitment either, financially or time-wise. You also don’t stop ever being a parent. Especially if you’re a single parent.” © LegitimateStar7034 / Reddit
• “You shouldn’t have kids expecting that your families are going to be actively involved or interested. People have their own interests, own families, their own depression, their own work lives, and some just plain don’t want to be around children. All reasons are valid. Go into childhood knowing you’re bringing these children into the world, and you’re responsible for raising them.”
  © Dazzling-Research418 / Reddit
  

• That, as a woman, you will be naturally more equipped to care for the child than the father will. That’s not true. With the exception of producing breast milk, men are just as capable of attending to a baby’s needs. Parenting is a learned skill just like any other. © BrittLee8 / Reddit
• Don’t have/adopt a child for any other reason than you want to raise a child. That means don’t have a child because you want someone to love you, to fix your relationship, because you want someone there when you’re old, to heal your parental trauma, because you think you should.
  © Fantastic_Garbage_85 / Reddit
• Sometimes you don’t immediately love your kid. When they placed my kiddo on my chest, it was weird, and it took a couple of days before I reconciled that this squirming loud person was the one I had carried for months. I love my kiddo more now than I did then after getting to know them. And that’s ok. It’s not always that perfect love where nothing else matters instantly. Sometimes it takes time.
  © not_doing_that / Reddit
• “You don’t have to ask your partner if they can watch the baby while you run to the bathroom. You tell them to watch the baby while you run to the bathroom.” © Severe_Driver3461 / Reddit

• “Disciplining your child is harder than it seems. It is very easy to spoil your kid. Especially if you have the means to, it is incredibly easy to want to spoil them. To buy them everything they want, either because you love them or because they won’t stop crying. It’s so easy to want to blame another person for YOUR child’s mistakes. You might even often have to catch yourself mid-argument and realize that it is YOUR child who was in the wrong.”
  © qqvxii / Reddit
• “That you’re going to be happy all the time even when baby is wanted — and you’re not! In fact, you may even feel pretty bummed or miss your old life frequently, and that’s normal. Older relatives telling you you’re a bad mom for not being 100% sparkles and rainbows over baby have forgotten what it felt like.” © peppermintblues / Reddit
• “That if you’re young and healthy, it will be easy and safe. I was only 27 and a healthy, active person, and pregnancy destroyed my body I now have a ton of medical and very expensive dental issues that I never had prior to pregnancy. I’ve already lost 6 teeth and may need partial dentures. I have extreme tension headaches and vertigo, as well as horrible acne and hair I never had before. They really don’t stress enough how even one pregnancy can completely break down a healthy body.” © greenky*** / Reddit
• “Your kids should always come first, or else you are a selfish monster. No. You are still a person, a woman, a friend, a romantic partner, etc. It isn’t selfish to retain your sense of self outside of motherhood, and not doing so makes many women perpetually unhappy, which isn’t good for your kids either.” © BrideOfFirkenstein / Reddit

Do you agree with these moms? Or maybe, you have some tips you’d like to share with young parents?