My Husband Is Calling Me a Liar and Manipulator for Catching My Mother-in-Law Snooping Through My Stuff

Every one of us is curious, some more so than others. However, everyone should respect each other’s privacy and not go through their personal belongings. Even if you are looking for something, you should ask first and be respectful.

❗ This article is for entertainment purposes only and does not replace professional advice.

How to handle gossipy and curious people in the family

All people have noisy and curious family members and don’t know how to deal with them. Here’s a few tips that might help you:

• Tell the truth: An honest answer might sometimes make them realize that they are being rude and inappropriate by asking. In this case, your MIL might feel bad and stop doing that, so don’t be scared, to tell the truth.
• Be prepared or answer confidently: If you have a family gathering be ready for awkward questions, the best thing is to avoid that person. If the situation is unavoidable, the next best thing is to answer confidently. If you don’t want to talk about it, tell them that the matter they’re asking about is private.
• Tell a white lie or a joke: White lies are not harmful if a family member is looking for gossip. Answer them vaguely. Telling a joke will throw them off balance, and you can escape while they process what you said. However, don’t do this in a delicate situation like with your MIL.

• Turn the tables or change the subject: When curious relatives start going all detective, you can hit them back with awkward questions. This will make them realize what they are doing. You can also change the topic immediately. This will have the same effect.
• Find excuses: When the uncomfortable questions start, you can find a reason to go elsewhere. Say that you need to use the bathroom, start coughing, or focus on something else, and ignore them.
• Take nothing personally: Some people are like that, and nothing can be changed, so don’t take everything personally. Your MIL’s personality might be like that. She could just be naturally curious, so don’t be angry with her.

How to deal with your mother-in-law

After getting married, it is essential to know a few things about understanding your mother-in-law. Here are a couple of things that will help you:

• Make a plan: Before taking any measures against your MIL, try to relax and think about the situation and your next move. Don’t take action immediately.
• Put yourself in her shoes: Try looking at the situation from her side with empathy or sympathy. Maybe she is having a problem with her husband or other issues that she is currently dealing with, which is why she is behaving that way.
• Find a person with that you can talk to about your problems: Your husband may not be the best person to talk to because the situation is about his mother. Finding decent friends or support groups might help you get some things off your chest because your relationship will become much more strained.

• Trust your instincts and don’t fake the relationship: If something deep inside you is telling you that your MIL is not a good person, trust yourself because she might not be. If you are right, don’t try to fake the relationship if she is not treating you like a mother and if there isn’t warmth coming from her. Try calling her by her name. This might help you.
• Don’t be too nice: If you are scared of offending her or being rude, you might not establish the necessary boundaries between you and her. Being respectful but assertive is the way to go.
• Be realistic: Don’t have high expectations. Nothing is perfect. So if you and your MIL can’t come to an understanding, do not try to live an illusion. If things are not good, go your separate ways. Remember, she is still your spouse’s mother, so respect should be established in all encounters.

How to understand your mother-in-law

Understanding your mother-in-law is essential if you want a healthy relationship with her. Here are a few tips that might be helpful.

• Know her spot: Understand that she is still your husband’s mother and that you have taken her place.
• Welcome her: Try accepting her for who she is, and don’t try to change her. Know that she does things differently.
• Respect her: Have esteem for her age and experience. She would like to know how to share some of that experience with you. Try listening to her.

• Give her attention: Communicate with her. Try asking her about her son’s past, calling her more often, asking for her opinions, or anything that might make her feel helpful.
• Get to know each other: Try to find common ground, and don’t compare her to your mother because they are not the same person.
• Be grateful: Try helping her with meals and cleaning. Do something that she will be thankful for.

What would’ve been the best thing to do in that situation.

Here are a few things that you should do in this situation:

• Talk to your husband: Make sure you and your husband have a conversation about his mother, discuss boundaries and try to address the problem you’re having with his mother. You might want to be angry with your partner, but that isn’t the best option.
• Predict her behavior: Learning and recognizing your MIL might help you reclaim control in a situation where you would otherwise be helpless. Check what triggers her, so that way you’ll know what not to do. Avoid talking to her alone so that she will be on her best behavior. If you’re talking on the phone, tell her she is on speakerphone.

• Avoid your MIL: Try to create distance between you and her that will help you not argue with her. If she is living with you, try going to a different room.
• Seek honest and charitable conversation, not arguments: When she is doing something you don’t like, try reasoning with her, take a deep breath before lashing out, and don’t talk negatively about her to your children.
• Ask professionals for help: If things aren’t improving and your MIL is still invading your privacy, the best thing to do is to ask a therapist for help. They know what to do and will help you.

Check the video for relationship errors we should avoid