8 Relationship Red Flags Therapists Advise Not to Ignore, and How to Spot Them
For every healthy relationship, there should be 2 partners who are equally invested and have just as much risk involved. Sometimes one partner is completely blinded by love for the other, unknowingly missing red flags that point to the fact that something is wrong. Not every small step or misunderstanding means something is wrong, but we’ve prepared a few things that, according to therapists, indicate red flags and how to deal with them.
1. They leave without explanation.
Having a reliable partner is one of the key things in a healthy relationship. Trust and mutual understanding hold all the strings of the relationship, but the most important thing is communication. If one of the partners refuses to call or text the other, or when there is a long period of time that passes before seeing each other and the partner suddenly appears without any explanation, it’s a big red flag. Aside from not texting at all, replying to a message really fast or always choosing texts instead of a call can also be considered a red flag.
2. They act as if they possess you.
It’s okay for a partner to feel a little jealous every now and again, but if their possessiveness toward the other partner is accompanied by anger, hostility, threats, or wrath, it should raise a big red flag—especially if it worsens over time. It’s never acceptable for someone to try to dominate you or keep you apart from your friends or family.
3. They know everything the best.
Narcissists feed on other people’s admiration and have a difficult time accepting responsibility for their actions. They perceive the idea of being less than ideal as personally dangerous and sincerely believe they never make errors. It’s not always clear whether toxic, narcissistic individuals are conscious of their actions, but if their actions consistently make you feel horrible about yourself and everything ends up becoming about them, it’s hard to say that they will ever be able to truly see who you are.
4. They make you feel less than.
A major trigger warning is having a spouse who will ridicule you and degrade you in public and in front of your friends or family. Even if you ask them to cease disparaging you, they will keep doing so. The toxic partner demands complete control over all decisions and will constantly tell the other one that they are lucky to be their partner and that no one else would really want them. In order to prevent you from challenging the total control of the relationship, his or her objective is to keep your self-esteem as low as possible. A true partner should make you feel worthy, not slam you to the floor with their behavior.
5. They don’t put a lot of effort into the relationship.
It’s crucial to consider how much each of you is providing and receiving in the relationship. If you’re giving more than you’re given back, that’s a warning sign. There should be an equal amount of giving and taking from both of you. This can easily lead to devaluation and depletion.
6. They disrespect the other partner’s needs.
Another warning sign is when you feel disrespected frequently or that your needs aren’t being addressed. Having a history of being late, carelessly “forgetting” occasions, and engaging in other time-honored practices can all have a negative impact on a relationship. Even if some individuals may genuinely struggle with creating and adhering to commitments, it could be beneficial to start a discussion about this habit.
7. They are trying to control you all the time.
Constant controlling behavior is another red flag, according to many experts in this field. Every time your partner asks where you are, you try to please them. If you don’t give them the information right away, they get agitated or frustrated and keep asking until you provide it to them.
8. They don’t support you.
Relationships should be a union where both partners desire to help each other in achieving things in life. The lack of support may easily transform every achievement into a competition. One of the partners loses the courage and trust of the other and they begin to feel like their interests don’t matter.
What is the biggest red flag you’ve spotted in a relationship? Have you ever tried pointing it out to your partner?