8 Relationship Red Flags It’s Better Not to Ignore
Did you know that if both you and your partner have had previous marriages, you are 90% more likely to get divorced than if this was the first marriage for both of you? But these things don’t always depend on us. If you want to understand what kind of future you and your partner can have together, read this article.
At 5-Minute Crafts, we would like to remind you that this article is only informational, and even if you find all the points relevant to your relationship, this should not become the reason for you to get separated. However, it’s worth analyzing your relationship and your partner’s behavior.
Constant financial problems
It’s okay if your family experiences temporary financial difficulties. Anything can happen in life, the main thing is how you and your partner cope with the situation. However, if financial difficulties happen on a regular basis, this is a reason to think it over because money problems are one of the main reasons for divorce.
Your partner always makes your personal life public without taking your desires into account.
In our age of technology, it’s hard to stay away from it. Social media, messengers, online games, all of these things distract you from your relationship, especially if your spouse can’t find a healthy balance between communication with you and staying online.
Nowadays, some couples get divorced because of the internet addiction of one of the partners. If you suffer at the hands of your partner’s multiple selfies, stories, etc., and your partner doesn’t seem to notice, perhaps your opinion is not that important to them.
Your spouse devalues your career achievements.
If your partner speaks negatively about your achievements, this means that you shouldn’t expect support from them. Constructive criticism is one thing that aims to help you, a whole other thing is the devaluation of your achievements.
For example, the words “You did a great job! I think if you improve your Spanish, you could get an even better position!” would be considered constructive criticism. At the same time, something like, “It’s all useless without the knowledge of a foreign language” is negative feedback.
You feel uncomfortable in the presence of your partner.
Compare these feelings with your experience where you are alone or with other people. If you feel calm in any other situation, except for the moments when your partner is next to you, this can be caused by the fact that you don’t want to be with them at the moment. If you experience these symptoms all the time, perhaps it’s worth thinking about the reasons.
Your partner doesn’t listen to you and interrupts you.
Good communication between partners is an important part of a healthy relationship. Communication problems are the most common factor that leads to divorce. If you’re often interrupted, or your desires are not taken into account, this is a red flag. “We’ve all heard when someone says something wrong, but constantly correcting your partner can become annoying and belittling,” says Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert.
Your partner never accepts a compromise.
There is a magical relationship ratio of positive and destructive interactions in happy couples which is 5:1. This means that for every negative interaction during a conflict, a couple has 5 positive interactions. For example, you had a fight 1 time, but you did something pleasant with each other 5 times — went to movies, visited a restaurant, etc. The smaller the first number is, the worse it is for the relationship. If your ratio is close to 1:1, it’s a red flag.
Compromising, discussing problems, and asking for forgiveness are the main elements of a healthy relationship. If you don’t have this, is your relationship worth it?
Your partner despises you.
Psychological researcher, John Gottman, who is known for his work on divorce prediction and marital stability, named 4 things that kill a relationship: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The most serious behavioral feature that always indicates approaching divorce is contempt which leads to other negative behavioral patterns. Look closer — if your partner has an asymmetrical facial expression when talking to you, it’s a clear sign that they despise you.
Your partner’s loved ones criticize you.
When parents interfere in the married life of their children, they ruin it. Because their opinion is always prejudiced and one-sided. Parents don’t realize that they violate your boundaries and the boundaries of your partner. And even though you can speak openly with your own parents, you can experience problems with the family of your partner, especially if they don’t really like you and your partner seems to not notice it.
The situation can become worse if your parents or your partner’s parents are divorced. According to research, these people can negatively affect the family life of the couples around them.
Bonus: A person’s facial expression in childhood photos can identify whether a person is prone to divorce or not.
This might be hard to believe but after a series of psychological tests, scientists found out that children who frowned in their school photos, got divorced more often than those who smiled sincerely.