9 Things That Prove an Energy Vampire Is Draining You Emotionally

Spending time with our family and friends should be an occasion that fills us with joy and happiness, but unfortunately, the reality can sometimes be completely opposite. Grabbing a coffee with your high school friend or even visiting certain relatives can leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or drained. If you ever wondered why that is and what you should do in those situations, we are here to help.

5-Minute Crafts prepared this article so you can learn how to recognize and deal with energy vampires.

1. They refuse to take the blame.

Although energy vampires can come across as very charming, they tend to blame others for their problems. They will look for ways to get out of trouble and they will use their appeal to achieve this. Rather than taking accountability for their mistakes, they will blame you and leave you feeling guilty and ashamed. Even if the mistake is theirs, they will find a way to spin it and blame it on you.

2. They are always involved in drama.

It seems that they are always in the epicenter of some crisis. When you speak with an energy vampire, you will notice that there is some kind of drama around them and that they are always on an emotional rollercoaster. It also looks like they’re searching for help or advice, but they’re actually projecting their drama on you.

3. They struggle to be happy for others.

Energy vampires are not happy with sharing the spotlight nor do they like to be upstaged. It’s hard for them to feel content about your success and it’s more likely that they will prey on your energy to fill in their emotional void.

4. They downplay your problems and emphasize theirs.

Since they need your energy, they won’t respond well if you are distressed or feeling down. They like to be the center of attention, and all of the energy needs to be directed toward them. They will try to shift the talk toward them so they can feed off your pain. Their behavior can also be erratic and they can have very emotional reactions.

5. They are looking for emotional support to boost their self-confidence.

In a way, they are making their own baggage yours. They are not very interested in your difficulties or issues that you are struggling with unless it has something to do with them. Energy vampires often seek emotional support to uplift their self-esteem after which you will be left feeling exhausted.

6. They will use your empathy against you.

Be aware of their controlling behavior as they can be very manipulative. Energy vampires tend to get close to people quickly to learn personal and sensitive information about them. Although it can seem like they genuinely care about you, it can actually be a hidden agenda that they will use to manipulate you, especially if you have empathetic traits and offer them an open heart and a listening ear.

7. They will guilt trip you and give you ultimatums.

Another way that they can manipulate you is by giving you ultimatums and guilt-tripping you. They will use shame to trick you into doing something and leave you feeling like you owe them. Once you start apologizing to them, you will allow them to get out of taking any responsibility, and instead, they will hold you accountable for their own emotional state.

8. They have an unhealthy attachment style.

Emotional vampires tend to be codependent, especially in close relationships. They expect you to take care of them, be there for them 24/7, and meet their every emotional need. Soon, you’ll end up in a vicious circle in which you’ll be expected to show up for them no matter what and fix their problems. But, be aware that this isn’t entirely one person’s fault, as this dynamic can happen in relationships where both people are codependent.

9. They can easily find a fault with you and harass you.

They thrive when criticizing you. Deep down, energy vampires are often insecure people and in order for them to feel better, they will often mistreat you and verbally attack you. They will use different tactics to discourage you from standing up to them, to implant fear in you, and to upset you. Then, they will have a clear path to further build up their egocentric behavior.

Why it’s important to recognize an energy vampire and how to deal with them

Energy vampires manifest toxic traits that sometimes can be pretty obvious but sometimes can also be very subtle. Since they feed off your energy and can leave you feeling drained, this can have an effect on your emotional and mental well-being. This is why it is important to identify them and take action in order to maintain your health. Here is what you can do:

• Set your boundaries — this refers to not allowing the energy vampire to dictate your life and restricting their access to you. Start with simpler things: avoid small talk with them, don’t agree to attend concerts, parties, or other social events with them, and just put a restraint on your contact, in general, with them.
• Stop giving them your time and energy — this means shutting down emotionally in front of them. Don’t offer them advice, don’t try to fix their problems, and don’t give them your attention by actively listening to them.
• Say “No” — if an energy vampire can’t get access to your emotional energy, they will move on to their next pray. Next time they call, text you, or even show up on your doorstep — say “no” without any guilt. You can back up your response with an excuse like, “I’m too tired” or “I’m busy” and stick to that.
• Cut them out of your life — sometimes, the situation will require removing the toxic person entirely from your life. Although this can sound like a drastic measure, you should always remember that your emotional and mental well-being comes first and that nobody has a right to treat you badly, whether they are your partner, friend, or family member.