7 Ways to Improve Your Social Skills and Become More Charming
Social skills don’t always come naturally to everyone. If you often struggle when interacting with others at a birthday party or any other event, you’re not alone. The good news is that, with a bit of information and some practice, you can improve your abilities and feel more comfortable in social situations.
5-Minute Crafts has prepared this guide to help you develop your social skills and become more confident when talking to other people.
1. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
If you believe that you’re an awkward person and will embarrass yourself in social situations, it’s very likely that you’ll end up sitting alone in a corner and thinking the same because nobody talked to you.
Therefore, prevent negative thoughts from discouraging you by replacing them with ones that sound more realistic, like “I can talk to other people and make new friends.”
2. Act like a social person would.
Even if you don’t feel like doing this, you can totally act like a more social person. Therefore, it’s a good idea to encourage yourself to talk to others and join conversations even if you’re feeling uneasy about it.
In this scenario, it’s advisable to accept your feelings of nervousness or anxiety and take action in spite of them. For instance, you can tell yourself: “I’m feeling anxious, but that’s okay. I can still socialize. These feelings will go away.” As time goes by, it will be much easier and you’ll probably see how your social skills will improve.
💡If you have a friend with very good social skills, ask them and find out if they ever experience uncomfortable feelings during social situations. Their answers might be quite surprising and reassure you that there are times when even the most confident person can feel insecure and nervous.
3. Remember to let yourself adapt to different contexts.
Knowing how to adapt your behavior and conversation subjects to match your surroundings is among the most important social abilities. However, it’s a good idea to always remember that being able to blend in doesn’t mean that you’re a fake person. Instead, it’s a sign of understanding social norms and making other people feel relaxed.
💡If you ever feel shy or nervous while being around other people, keep in mind that nobody knows how you’re feeling, even if you assume they do. Realizing this can help you gain more confidence during social interactions.
4. Stick to open-ended questions.
Questions that go beyond getting a simple “yes” or “no” answer may be helpful to encourage the other person to talk and keep the conversation alive. Moreover, this may also get all the attention off you as you interact. So, instead of asking closed questions, go for something that gives you more information to work with.
❗Asking questions can help you know what you have in common with another person and bond with them more easily. However, if you overdo it, this could make the other person feel like they’re going through an interrogation. At the same time, asking too few or almost no questions can make you look like you’re self-centered.
✅ Therefore, always remember to keep a balance between your questions and your sharing. You may do so by saying something about yourself and adding a question related to that piece of information afterward.
5. When in doubt, use compliments.
If you don’t know what you say, you can always go for a kind sentence. This may not only improve a person’s day but also open the door for dialogue. At the same time, research has shown that this practice can also increase satisfaction in our own lives.
For instance, you can connect with someone by simply telling them that you like an accessory they’re wearing, or letting a co-worker know how much you enjoyed something they recently did. Just make sure to be sincere and avoid looking fake. If you need help in this area, follow these steps:
- Identify the things you genuinely like about someone so that you really mean what you say.
- Avoid being obvious by paying attention to the little details that make that person unique.
- Stay away from clichés. Don’t go around saying the same phrase to everyone or giving opinions about their physical appearance. Focus on their personality traits, style choices, achievements, and abilities, instead.
6. Learn from other people.
Observing socially skilled people in a discreet way can give you some useful signs for how to behave and talk in social contexts. For example, you can pay attention to their energy levels, how they make others feel, the way they use eye contact and body language, and the types of jokes they make.
However, avoid trying to imitate their gestures or copy every single thing they say. Instead, focus on general characteristics, like how often they smile and how much interest they show in other people.
7. Be a host and don’t miss an opportunity to socially interact in your daily life.
Inviting your family or friends to come over for dinner can result in a very good opportunity for you to connect with others and put your conversational abilities into practice.
If you’re not much of a host, you can always take advantage of the opportunities that may come up in your daily life to socially interact with other people. You can start by talking to taxi drivers, your hairdresser, or your co-workers. Don’t be afraid of small talk, as this may allow you to build the necessary basis to move on to deeper conversations.
💡Accept every invitation you get unless you have very good reasons to do the opposite. Moreover, if someone asks you to go out with them, but you already have plans, offer an alternative day to reschedule.
