How to Reconnect With an Old Friend

You’ve probably heard people saying that friends are the family you choose. Unfortunately, sometimes you lose contact with them because of different circumstances such as moving to a new city, diverging interests or even some silly fight. In this case, you might want to reconnect with people that played an important role in your life.

5-Minute Crafts compiled a few tips to ease the process.

1. Consider what’s changed since you’re no longer in touch.

Thinking about what’s different will help the two of you decide whether your friendship is strong enough for a second go. After all, both of you have probably changed. Maybe your interests no longer match or you have nothing to share anymore. On the other hand, if you do reconnect, you’ll likely reinforce a sense of connectedness and belonging, which could have a positive impact on your life.

2. Lower your expectations.

If you decide you’ll give the friendship a try, going with an open mind is the best way to honor what you’ve already shared together. Thinking you’ll be best friends right away after years of not talking to each other, or any type of expectation could put pressure on this new phase of the friendship you’re about to start.

3. Think about how you’ll get in touch with your old friend.

Texting or sending a PM with a simple “Hi” or “Thinking of you” is a good way to start a conversation. You don’t need to write a long and detailed message. Your friend will most likely just be happy to hear from you. You can also acknowledge that you haven’t connected in a while and ask if they’re interested in meeting.

• Note: Try to avoid leaving a message on a public chat or wall not to put pressure on them to meet. Generally speaking, most people feel more comfortable communicating in private than posting in public.

4. Make concrete plans.

You know how the usual “let’s grab coffee sometime” goes when you say that just out of politeness: you’ll probably not meet the person anytime soon. So instead, if you actually mean it, follow up your proposal by setting an actual date and time to meet. That way, the other person will see you do want to see him or her.

5. Use nostalgia as a starting point.

According to a study carried out in 2018, scientists found out that nostalgia fosters social bonding and makes life more meaningful. This makes it a great starting point to build a relationship with an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while since you both share memories you can use to bond again.

6. Ask open ended questions.

If things aren’t working out as good as you thought and there’s an elephant in the room, asking open ended questions might be a good strategy to help the other person talk about his or her life. According to scientists, talking about yourself is very rewarding.

7. Find new things in common.

While you might be tempted to evolve your friendship for it to be as close as possible to what it used to be, people change. New hobbies, a new career or any other life-changing choice you’ve made will naturally influence your relationship, and that’s okay, accept it and try to get to know your old friend as the new person he or she is.