6 Tips to Know Before You Come Out
Coming out refers to when someone reveals their orientation to other people, which usually happens multiple times with each individual person that is told. Although there is no right or wrong way to come out, 5-Minute Crafts will give you some tips to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible.
What to consider before coming out
Coming out is always a big decision and one that’s yours to make. There are some things to keep in mind:
- You can get clues about how accepting and open-minded the person you’re planning to come out to will be. Bring up LGBTQ+ issues and assess how people respond, use examples to see how they feel about the marriage of LGBTQ+ people.
Even when they respond positively, there’s no guarantee of a positive reaction.
- Different people are ready to come out at different times of their lives. You can be sure about wanting to be open about it, but always keep safety in mind and if there are some risks take extra care and decide whether it’s better to come out or not.
- Assess if it’s worth it to come out or if it will make life easier, weighing all the possible situations.
1. Don’t feel pressured or forced to label yourself.
There might be outside pressure to come out, maybe if someone you know has done it, but coming out should be your own decision.
There might also be pressure for you to label yourself right away, trying to fit into the common labels of the LGBTQ+ community — if it helps you, do it. But if it doesn’t feel right, listen to yourself, avoid labels, and ignore outside forces.
2. There’s no need to tell everyone at once.
It might feel like when you’re ready and want to come out that you should tell everyone at once, but there’s no need. Choose the person you have the most trust in and tell them first — it can be a friend, a family member, or anyone you choose.
Opening up to the first person is probably the hardest part, then it gets clearer and easier.
3. Manage your expectations.
It’s possible that someone you tell won’t react in the way that you expected and you should be ready for this. That doesn’t forcibly mean that the relationship with that person is over, maybe they’ll understand in time and accept you the way you are, additionally, getting no response isn’t always bad, even if it’s not ideal.
You can also prepare for some potential questions, like how long have you known, are you sure, or are you dating anyone — there’s nothing forcing you to answer these questions, do it if that feels right, or don’t. It’s your moment.
4. Keep privacy in mind.
When you share information, there’s always a chance someone could talk about it without your knowledge or approval, so be sure to tell the people you trust the most to not give out this information without your permission. It’s ok to want to keep it private and tell someone you’d rather not have them discuss it with others.
5. Be mindful of time and location.
Think about your comfort and your goals: if you want to keep it private, don’t choose a public place. Choose a quiet place, where you can have a conversation. If you need support, try having someone who you’re sure won’t have a bad reaction to what you are telling them.
It doesn’t even have to be a face-to-face conversation, you can tell someone over a call, especially if you feel like the conversation might not go as smoothly. You can also send an email or a text, which is a way to not demand an instant response, giving the receiver more time to think before they answer.
6. Remember the positives.
There’s so much to consider when coming out that some anxiety and fear might creep in and not let you enjoy the experience, but coming out can be one of the best experiences since you’ll be able to live as your whole true self, with this weight will be lifted off your shoulders.