How to Poop Without Anyone Knowing

When you have to go, you have to go. However, some people may feel shy when using a public bathroom, either at work, at a restaurant, or in any other place where they cannot be alone. Fortunately, if you feel this way, there are certain things you can do to avoid somewhat embarrassing situations.

5-Minute Crafts will give you 7 tips to use the restroom without letting others know what you’re doing.

1. Choose the right toilet stall.

If you’re in a public bathroom, choose the stall that is the farthest away from those that could be occupied. At the same time, pick one of the stalls at the end of the bathroom, even if there’s no one else there. This way, you will only have, at most, one person next to you if more people come in.

2. Use toilet paper wisely.

Roll some toilet paper on your hand and place it into the bowl by making sure that the top part stays dry. This will help you prevent plopping sounds and any possible splashbacks.

3. Mask your sounds.

Flushing as you do your business can be an easy way to disguise your sounds. If you need some extra cover-up, you can also do it repeatedly. Although this technique can be a bit wasteful and embarrassing, it will mask your private noises for sure.

Some other noises you can make as you go include gently hitting the toilet seat against the tank, stamping your feet on the floor, and coughing.

4. Aim it right.

If your poop hits the water immediately, it will make a splashing sound. However, if it touches the side wall of the bowl first, it won’t be as noisy.

Therefore, it’s advisable to move a bit forward instead of sitting completely over the toilet. This will prevent your droppings from landing right in the center of the bowl.

5. Ditch any reading materials.

Bringing a magazine into the bathroom can make other people easily tell what you’re about to do. Therefore, ditch any reading materials and, if you need some entertainment as you go, try using your phone instead.

6. If possible, time your visit to the toilet.

If possible, use the bathroom before other potential visitors arrive, or wait until you’re alone. You can also do it at lunchtime, or when everyone else is focused on their things. Just remember that, even if it’s difficult, the goal is to go to the bathroom when it’s completely empty.

7. Don’t force it.

When passing stool, try to slow down your droppings instead of forcing them out. This will reduce the chances of plopping noises and give you more time to practice the tips previously mentioned, such as aiming at the side wall and masking your sounds.

Bonus: bathroom etiquette rules

Sharing a bathroom can be quite hard for some people. Therefore, it’s important to always remember these important rules to make things easier for everyone:

• Don’t make eye contact and stay away from small talk.
• Don’t make phone calls.
• Don’t stay in front of the mirror for too long.