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How to Tell If It’s Love or Just Attraction

It can happen to anyone that when you bump into someone, your heart starts to beat faster, and you blush or sweat. You may find yourself trying to identify that feeling and mistakenly think it’s love at first sight. Sometimes, knowing where to stand with that person is essential in determining if it’s just a short-lasting “physical attraction.”

We at 5-Minute Crafts aim to help you identify these 2 different feelings by filling you in on the essential sure signs.

The difference between love and attraction

When 2 individuals like or love each other, they feel an interpersonal attraction. Sometimes, they feel a non-verbal reciprocal liking, or reciprocity of attraction, meaning they mutually expect to get benefits in return as they give them. This kind of attraction is essential for forming relationships. Sometimes, we might get confused when feeling stronger than just “liking” someone and wonder if it’s love at first sight.

It could also be a short-lived attraction—the feeling toward your partner’s appearance, a slight gesture, state, attitude, etc. On the other hand, love is compassionate, long-lasting, unconditional, accepts the flaws, and develops gradually, whereas physical attraction is instant and passionate.

If you can’t figure out which category the harmony between you and your partner falls under, you may need to concentrate on figuring out what to consider.

1. Check to see if they want to introduce you to their circle.

Suppose you want to introduce your partner to the most important people in your life: your friends and family. If your partner is reluctant to do the same, it may mean that you are being pocketed. In other words, your partner is hiding you like a secret or keeping the relationship under wraps. There are many signs of realizing this upfront like, for example, they never talk about their family or friends. You always meet out of town, you aren’t on each other’s social media, etc.

Takeaway: If he has no interest in connecting with your inner circle, it could be because you and your partner have a ’’short-term’’ relationship.

2. Check to see if either of you are using more “I” and less “We.”

You can learn a lot about your relationship by closely observing your language. Bear in mind that you slowly stray from the “I” language in a loving relationship and opt to use “We” in your sentences more. It’s essential for both parties to feel heard and communicate their ideas. This way, you start thinking as a couple, not 2 separate individuals. “We” also refers to a “partnership” where you are confident in solving problems together.

Takeaway: If your partner uses more ’’I’’ and makes all the decisions, then there isn’t any conversation between you 2. You don’t get a say, and it’s one-sided, not love.

3. Check to see whether they share everything with you.

Self-disclosure plays an essential role in a normal and healthy relationship. You may want to share confidential and personal information about your dreams, fears, past experiences, and plans with the person you love, even the things you have never told anyone. Keep this in mind and ask yourself what information you’re sharing with your partner. You can think about it another way —asking yourself if your partner opens up to you emotionally, is comfortable discussing issues with you, etc.

Takeaway: If you feel uncomfortable sharing things with the person you’re with, or if he doesn’t open up to you, it may not be a long-lasting love or a committed relationship.

4. Check to see if you influence one another.

Influence is an essential factor in a happy relationship, especially when it comes to decision-making in meaningful ways. Studies have shown that if your partner is willing to accept your influence more, they become more prominent. Still, for a relationship to be successful, it is good that both parties take the initiative. It doesn’t mean saying ’’yes’’ to every situation, but acknowledging your partner’s view even if you disagree.

Takeaway: If you find yourself in situations where you are ambivalent about accepting their influence, try listening to your other half’s views and search for ways to say ’’yes.’’

5. Check to see if you’re focused on their physical appearance.

It’s normal to be attracted to someone physically. However, if you’re constantly thinking about their appearance or how good-looking they are, and if it’s the first thing that comes to your mind, it might not be love.

Takeaway: There are other significant qualities inside a person that we need to pay attention to—for example, kindness, trustworthiness, or support.

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